january in the california desert

it is superbowl sunday again, when i usually find in the liturgical calendar of mtoy, my psalm for superbowl sunday.  today, i have something new.  this one is, on the michael toy scale of hope, a more hopeful poem for this day.

january in the california desert

we have to bank the snowmelt from the sierra nevadas
to live here in the summer, when all that was green
turns brown and dies baking under endless blue
so that on a day like today, when people in minneapolis
are deciding how many layers are needed to avoid frostbite
we can sit at an outside table, under an umbrella
so we don't get too much sun

at my inside table
i lift my arm from resting
on the metal window frame,
    it was starting to burn
while in seattle, the weatherman
happily predicts "sunbreak"
the sun will be visible
for 15 minutes
next tuesday afternoon

i peel the platic wrap
from a turkey and avocado sandwich
379 miles north of disneyland
which should be far enough away
for me to lead a normal life
but in a cafe filled with people
nobody is staring at their tablemate
we are all in rows with laptops open
"it's a small world after all"
we surf in creepy synchonization
as the guests float gently down
el camino real in their prius viewmobiles

listen to me argue for sustainability
and social responsibility
over a latte
which is ok
because the cup is recyled
and the coffee grower
is slightly less exploited
than he was 10 years ago
but still required to grow coffee for us
not welcome to sip lattes
while dispensing his generous consumption
in the land of the free

i grew up not far from here
in a small town
where you either raised cattle
or designed nuclear weapons
there was only one african american in my school
and we thought we were living in dr. king's dream
because we didn't treat him any differently
except when i came back after my first year at college
he was bagging groceries
and i was designing computer software
which seemed abstractly mysterious at the time

that is how we roll
bouncing our heads with the stereo earbuds
living the good life
which we really didn't do anything to deserve
those who struggle
    obviously just didn't work hard enough
just look at us, sipping a beverage
made possible by indentured/indebted servants
halfway around the world
and we hardly had to work at all

i am so thoughtful and creative
on my silky smooth tablet computer
in china
they are so eager and obliging
to grind their children into glass
which covers the lcd display
lift the lid,
slide the virtual latch left
all that information at our fingertips

since i mentioned disneyland,
do you remember
the autopia car ride
strap in,
don't stop,
don't get out,
keep your hands and arms inside at all times,
and enjoy the illusion
of control

we are the dreamers
fingers unstained by the chemicals needed
to make our dreams come true
we are washed and awash
in indulgences

just two percent of the excess i drown in
a little extra for goods and services
offered to well meaning middlemen
who tell me
my carbon sins
and my chocolate transgressions
are forgiven
just a few minutes of web browsing
at my mymicrofinance.org
to maintain my stable of debt slaves
and they thank me for it

i can ignore this e-mail
i already know that
young women are enslaved
to service the sexual appetites
of men programmed to need something
that nature does not provide
that is not my problem
because my awareness of this issue
has already been raised
and i have a monthly contribution
on my visa statement
to prove it

which makes me shudder with shame
remembering that i lie
to the greenpeace fundraisers
because when i tell them
     i already contribute,
they are kind to me

how fabulous, that it is this
that makes me shudder with shame,
    what a random rich white kid
    on a street corner
would think of me

at this point in the poem
you are waiting for the u turn
the warm sun of winter
and the occasional gentle rain
coaxing carpet verdant
from the brown possibility

so am i my friend
so am i

it is january in the california desert
where the first people to find this place
abstractly and mysteriously vanished
to make room for us
to complain about
the illegal latino
who wants to steal jobs that belong to us
this is outrageous because our empire
beat theirs in a fair fight

i say all of this
not to earn your admiration
or to atone for the swath of injustice that leads
like a trail of breadcrumbs
to this coffee shop

i say it because
it is
and what ever comes next
the something better which we all want
has to start here

 

 

Comments

[Amanda]

I like this.

[A Facebook User]

Wow

[John]

Gorgeous. Made my day.

[pam]

The second stanza reminds me of the Bradbury story "All Summer in a Day". There are so many swings from sunny-ness to injustice in this poem. It almost, almost, asks what's the next step.

[Carlos]

OH man, that was a vengeance.